One of the keys to healthy teams is creating and sustaining environments of truth, as prickly as it can be. While we must be conscious of others, withholding our honest beliefs about an issue our team is wrestling with is seldom in the best interests of the team, either collectively or individually.

The same is true for honestly communicating the facts about our areas of responsibility. Distorting the facts to cover is only temporary. Eventually, the truth will come out (Proverbs 19:5). Typically, people are much more apt to allow for failures if we are willing to admit them earlier, than later. If something is not working out as we had planned, saying, “it’s coming together…just a bit slower than anticipated,” is nothing more than a smoke screen. It leaves a false impression, rather than simply admitting the truth, cutting our losses and moving on. Failure is part of success. Initial failures are expected outcomes of seeking success. Ultimate failure is an unwillingness to be honest.

Remember how you waited, prayed and believed God to place you in just the right ministry position? Then, the ministry contacted you, you interviewed, and eventually joined the team. Remember how excited you were when you first joined the staff? You almost couldn’t believe it was true…God had answered your prayers!

However, if we’re not careful, what was once enthusiasm can later become expectation. It’s strange how appreciation can turn to contempt over time; and privilege suddenly turns to entitlement. The longer we are around people, places or in this case, ministries, the more we must guard against taking an entitlement mentality. Familiarity does indeed breed contempt.

Consider the following as sign posts along the way. If we notice these tendencies, we are walking on a slippery slope that leads where none of us wish to go:

Disrespect for leaders. The longer we serve under one leader, the less likely we are to remain respectful and submissive. When you joined the ministry that leader was incredible, but after years of close proximity, it’s easy to see his flaws. Which makes it easier to lose respect.

Fiscal Irresponsibility. If we are not careful, in time we can begin to believe that the ministry owes us. We can begin to think that the salary we agreed to in the beginning, is somehow not equitable now. As a result, incremental slides towards balancing the scales can take place.

Abuse of power. Do we take out our frustration on those who do not have power over us? Do we treat those in ministry settings the same way we treat our supervisor? If not, we’re abusing our power.

Bending of Rules. Do we bend rules that we think are inconvenient, make no sense, or do not apply to us?

Whenever we notice one or more of these tendencies within ourselves, we have begun the slide that could easily lead us to the point of no return.

Self-imposed destruction of our lives and the ministries we serve is one of top reasons people leave ministry. It is unquestionably one of the most challenging issues we face. Here are just a few things to keep in mind to remain afloat spiritually and ministerially:

1. Work to stay emotionally healthy and help others who work with you in ministry to do the same. Keep a check on how you are acting or reacting to people and circumstances. One of the best barometers for health is reflected through how you are treating and/or thinking about those closest to you. Do you find yourself having conversations in your head with people in which you are expressing frustration or anger? If so, you might need to take a break, go on vacation, let some things drop, or at the very least…take a nap. Some great questions to ask ourselves:
   • “Do I have a life outside ministry?”
   • “Do I have an emotionally healthy schedule?”
   • “How much do I know about what I don’t know?”
   • “Do I rule my tongue, or does it rule me?”
   • “Whom do I take more seriously – God or myself”
   • “What am I fighting about?”
   • “What do I do after I fail?”
   • “Can I say ‘no’ to people?”
   • “Am I burning out?”
2. Base your decisions upon biblical principles and godly counsel. Don’t make your decisions on the basis of your feelings, which depend on changing circumstances and are unreliable. Making decisions that reflect personal preference over godly counsel will always lead to disaster.
3. Take responsibility rather than blaming others. If you blow it, admit it. One of the quickest ways to crash and burn is to live in denial. We all have issues, we all sin, and we all make stupid mistakes. Rather than blaming other people or circumstances, take a hard look at the situation and determine how you could have handled it differently and take responsibility. If you are finding areas of dysfunction in your life, don’t go it alone, get the help that you need from a friend, pastor or counselor.
4. Finally, be honest with yourself and those around you about your life and ministry. Hiding only drives you farther from God and others.

One of the most problematic areas of Youth Ministry is misalignment with the church. Through either unintentional vision leak or intentional redirection, all too often youth ministries have a tendency to “go off the farm” and create their own vision/mission, expectations and overall focus. The result, most often is the silo effect within the ministry. This, if left unchecked, will ultimately lead to marginalization at best and implosion of the ministry at worst. Scripture is clear that one of the keys to effective ministry is unity Eph. 4:1-6.

The precipitating cause behind misalignment is typically one of two things, or a combination thereof. The first is an inability of the senior pastor to lead. If you are serving in a secondary role of leadership you cannot change the leader, but you can serve well so that the pastor leads better. The Bible is full of serving ‘first chair’ leaders well: Moses – Joshua, Elijah – Elisha, Paul – Barnabus, etc.

The second precipitating cause of misalignment is an unwillingness to follow. While there may be a multiplicity of reasons as to why the Youth Pastor doesn’t want to follow the Pastor, but to not do so is rebellion.

Here’s the two-fold challenge for many youth pastors – they have a heart and vision for leading, but are in a position that requires living in the tension between leading and following. You must remember that you are not ultimately in charge of the church or organization. When you “signed on” to be part of the team you agreed to submit yourself to the leadership of that team. If you didn’t agree with the philosophy, direction, or leadership, you should not have joined. Note this: You will never lead well until you’re willing to follow well.

Here are a few keys to staying aligned and responsive to your leaders:

• Keep your supervisor fully informed about the ministry you lead. Asking forgiveness rather than permission is a bad idea.
• Listen to people’s concerns and adjust your plans as necessary. There is wisdom in the abundance of counselors (Prov. 15:22).
• When you’re criticized, don’t react defensively. Instead, learn from the criticism and work with your critics to find creative solutions to problems.
• When asked to do something comply first, make appeals second. The temptation is to do the opposite, which normally results in tension, lack of trust, and being labeled as rebellious.

Lead well by following well…sort of reminds you of Jesus doesn’t it? “The Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.” John 5:19

Coming in at number seven on the Top-Ten-List of things to do to stop the insanity of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results in Youth Ministry is Focus on Discipleship.

While the majority of those leading youth ministries would agree Youth Ministry should focus on discipleship, in the end, most do not practice it. Most would say, “We focus on discipleship, just look at our discipleship groups.” However, if we were to inspect those “discipleship groups” further most often we would find students in small groups that are focused on topics relevant to adolescents: sex, drugs, authorities, choosing friends wisely, etc.

Most youth leaders would say, “those are the relevant topics, we have to deal with in order to (a) peak student’s interests and (b) to educate them on what the Bible says about the topic. Agreed. The problem is neither of those rationales. The problem is the focus.

Allow me to illustrate, how many of you are tired of hearing the ‘how-to’ sermons on weekends? “How to have a great marriage” “How to make wise financial decisions” “How to…” Of course you are, and students in the youth ministries across this nation are tired of hearing it from youth pastors as well. Students are tired of hearing it because genuine discipleship is in no way linked to a Christian self-help course, and intuitively or intellectually the students know it.

Discipleship is about being conformed to the image of Jesus. It’s not that the topics are bad, or not worth addressing. They are biblical and crucial to understand the commands that Jesus talks about in Matthew 28. We should consistently rehearse the commands, principles, and teachings of God.

The issue is that when we focus on topics rather than discipleship, we seek to do spiritual triage with Band-Aids. Most youth ministries have it backwards. They teach on topics hoping that if the students hear about what they should and shouldn’t do, somehow that will miraculously translate into spiritual formation that will “make the tree good” (Matt. 12:33).  Focusing on topics is eerily similar to the religious of Jesus day.

The Pharisees were in many respects the very best people of Jesus’ day. But they located goodness in behavior and tried to secure themselves by careful management at the behavioral level. However, that simply cannot be done. Behavior is driven by the hidden or secret dimension of human personality, from the depths of the soul and body, and what is present there will escape. Hence they always failed at some point to do what is right, and had to redefine, re-describe or explain it away–or simply hide it. By contrast the fruit of the spirit, as described by Jesus and Paul, does not consist in actions, but in attitudes or settled personality traits that make up the substance of the “hidden” self, the “inner man.” “Love” captures this fruit in one word, but in such a concentrated form that it needs to be spelled out. Thus, “the fruit (singular) of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Gal. 5:22) *

“Attitudes or settled personality traits” are not overcome by “management” of behaviors. The problem is far greater and deeper than behaviors. Our sin nature cannot be controlled by behavior modification. We, nor the students in youth ministries around the world, will ever experience the lives we were intended to live until we are consumed by the power of Christ living in us.

Imagine if Youth Ministry ceased to focus on self-help topics and instead focused on being saturated by the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5 through walking with Jesus. What would happen if our aim in Youth Ministry was for students to be continually controlled by Jesus through relentless pursuit of Him?

* Dallas Willard, Why Bother with Discipleship? RENOVARE Perspective, Vol. V, No. 4, October 1995. First published in a Biola University bulletin. Available in The Great Omission, San Francisco: HarperCollins, 2006.

Instead of relying on just one person to do everything in ministry (the youth pastor), develop team of willing and capable adults to invest their time and energy into students’ lives.

1. Start recruiting adults at least six months before a new year of youth group ministry.
2. Develop a pool of potential recruits – including a name of a potential volunteer beside each open position – and diligently make phone calls, have coffee, or lunches until you find the people you need.
3. Once you have the volunteers, regularly communicate with them. Give them job descriptions, behavioral covenants, and an accountability structure.
4. Affirm and encourage them regularly by showing your appreciation in creative ways (giving them gift cards, inviting them to the pastor’s home for dinner, etc.).
5. Make sure that the adults are connected to each other as well as to the students, with everyone working together. Help volunteers build friendships with each other, and encourage them to remain committed to volunteering with the youth ministry for at least several years so they can see growth occur in students’ lives.
6. Delegate responsibility to key volunteers by building a culture of apprenticeship.
7. Equip volunteers with the tools they need to succeed. Provide regular systematic training to sharpen their skills.
8. Empower them with authority. No one enjoys being responsible for something without at least some measure of authority to make decisions.

Youth ministry is not the place for lone rangers. For decades now the Church in North America has been enamored with what Mark DeVries calls the “light bulb” youth pastor who shines bright for a while and then burns out. That way of thinking must stop. Equipping a team (no matter if the team is 2, 20 or 200) is foundational to effective, long term, transformative ministry.

We all know the saying, “talk is cheap.” While the cliché is well worn, it’s still extremely true. It’s easy to say you will do something, it’s quite another to actually follow through and do it.

Take for instance me “dropping the ball” on this top ten list. I had every intention of being disciplined and churning out these posts. Not a big deal right? How long can it possibly take to write a pithy blog? Apparently it takes weeks, because that’s how long it has taken me to continue my Top Ten List to Stop the Insanity of youth ministry.

All that to say… “Sorry, I just got caught up in lots of other things and didn’t follow through on the blog.”

However, it did provide a great mid-point post to remind us all that while starting well is good, finishing well is crucial. If we believe that God has led us to do or be about something in ministry, then we must remember that “the end of a thing is better than its beginning.” Ecclesiastes 7:8

Follow through is probably one of the biggest factors in effective leadership, and has the potential to provide either momentum or drag, dependent upon whether or not you do it.

Time is a limited commodity. There is always more to do, than there is time to do it. One of the most challenging things we face in ministry is deciding how we will spend our time. Each day, we must decide what our most important priorities will be, and focus on them.

As Paul writes in Ephesians 5:16 we should make the most of every opportunity because the days are evil. There are temptations on every side, some are clearly immoral (as Paul writes about in the previous verses), while others are seemingly more benign. While we are correct in thinking that the big temptations will take us down, we must not be fooled into miscalculating the consequences of misappropriated time.

What are the things that we must spend our time doing? First, obviously time in communion with God is of utmost importance. Just as Christ would retreat to spend time reorienting himself by speaking to his Father (Mt. 14:13), we must do the same. If Jesus needed alone time with the Father, so do we.

Secondly, we need to keep in mind that one of the best things we can do in student ministry is spending time with students. I know…rocket science right? Yet, the tyranny of the urgent can often drive us to working on things that ultimately make little difference in the lives of students. No single thing will ever have greater influence than life-on-life investment.

Coupled with that, is the need to spend time developing a skillful team of adults to invest in students. If you have not realized it yet, we cannot do it all. We must have capable, loving adults who are committed to caring for students. Equipping and empowering a team of qualified adults in student ministry is one of the key things that will create a “Sane” Youth Ministry.

I teach a class at Moody Bible Institute called Ministry Planning. It’s all about, you guessed it…ministry planning. One of the very first things I must do each semester is to convince students that planning is indeed Biblical and yes, even prescribed by God (Prov. 12:5, 15:22, 16:3, 20:18; 1 Chron. 12:32, 28:12; Ps. 20:4; Mt. 28:18-20; Ephesians 1:3-10).

I start by asking the students a couple of simple questions: Do you believe that God had a plan for redeeming humanity? Did he work that plan through His Son Jesus Christ (read Ephesians 1:3-10)? Of course God had a plan! And He expects us to make plans in alignment with Him, for the sake of His Kingdom. Yet, many in ministry never strategically plan to accomplish that which God has clearly communicated they are to be working towards. The question that I hear time and again is… “how do I go about planning strategically for ministry?”

If Youth Ministries are to ‘Stop the Insanity’ one of the key factors will be to hear from God and plan accordingly. While the steps are quite simple, the process can be a bit daunting working through the first time. However, once the planning process is completed and Youth Ministries are intentional about working the plan, they will never go back to “flying by the seat of their pants.” It’s that impacting. Let’s just hit the key points:

1. Pray – Gather key people (parents, staff, volunteers, students) to pray and seek God about the direction and plan for the ministry. Be patient and be persistent.
2. Mission – What is it that God has called this ministry to be about? If it is part of a church (i.e. Youth Ministry within a Church), then whatever the church’s mission is should be reflected in the mission of the ministry. Otherwise, misalignment is created and the “silo effect” begins to take place.
3. Objectives – What are the top 3 or 4 things that must be addressed in order for the ministry to stay on target with it’s mission, remain biblical, culturally relevant, sustainable, and redemptive in purpose? Whatever those three or four things are, write them down and never lose sight of those objectives being the priority for your ministry this year.
4. Goals – Make SMART goals that assist in accomplishing your objectives. (S – specific, M- measurable, A- attainable, R- realistic, T- timely).
5. Action Steps – what are the specific tasks that must be accomplished for each goal to be attainable?
6. Calendar  - Write down every task that must be accomplished and the deadline of each in order to attain the goals, achieve the objectives, and stay on mission.
7. Budget – What are the financial resources that will be required to put into motion those things that God has led your ministry to do this year?

Having God’s plan and working the plan provides one of the most powerful tools in ministry: the ability to know when to say “yes” and when to say “no”.

I just touched on the main points in this article, but if you are interested in reading more on the topic, you should click here: http://bit.ly/K8AmEz and if you are interested in reading a book on the topic, I would suggest Advanced Strategic Planning by Aubrey Malphurs: http://amzn.to/LO9gQN

While the content of your youth ministry is important, it can’t be delivered properly if your ministry’s culture is dysfunctional. All too often we find ministry culture ridden with lack of trust, self-preservation, and personal agendas.

If we ever hope to see the insanity within youth ministry stopped and bring about focus, integrity, and godly leadership, youth pastors must lead well. Youth Pastors should set the standard for functional, biblical leadership. That means living and ministering in unity.

Stephen Covey mentions thirteen behaviors of high trust leaders. He writes, “when you adopt these ways of behaving, it’s like making deposits into a ‘trust account’ of another party.”

1. Talk Straight

2. Demonstrate Respect

3. Create Transparency

4. Right Wrongs

5. Show Loyalty

6. Deliver Results

7. Get Better

8. Confront Reality

9. Clarify Expectation

10. Practice Accountability

11. Listen First

12. Keep Commitments

13. Extend Trust

Youth Pastors, it’s time to lead. Stop waiting on someone else to do it. Stop giving excuses…just lead. Work on these behaviors daily. Make it your personal goal to use the list as a personal checklist for your leadership development. In doing so, you will expand your leadership capacity, create trust, and most importantly…facilitate godly, safe environments where students can encounter Christ and be discipled by godly men and women.